The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize