dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize