I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she looked like the before picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize