I didn't shave. On purpose
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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