on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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