Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize