She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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