Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize