Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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