garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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