My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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