But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
