if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
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I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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