obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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