Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize