just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
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still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
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I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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