Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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