Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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