Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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