Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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