At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize