i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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