Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize