my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize