Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
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He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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