Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
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I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
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I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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