I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize