Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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