So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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