He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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