you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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