it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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