i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize