I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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