I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
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He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize