I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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