I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize