I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize