Swine flu. Run for my life!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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