Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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