You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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