The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
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I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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