she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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