I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
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