I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
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decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
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Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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