Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize