WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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