Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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