The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize