I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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