The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize